Plagiarists International Union

Best recipe you'd never think would be good

2009-05-02T21:08:00.003-04:00

This is seriously amazing - very rich and chocolatey. But get the recipe - it's for chocolate avocado "cheesecake." I never would have tried it if very ripe avocadoes hadn't been on sale for .50 at the store near my house, but I'll be trying it again.

Chocolate Avocado Pie

Filling
3 Avocadoes
2 tbsp maple syrup or other liquid sweetener
2 tsp vanilla extract
juice of 1/2 lemon
12 oz of the best quality chocolate you can afford

Crust
One pre-baked pie shell or
1 and 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cups sugar
6 tbsp margarine or butter

If you are making crumb crust, melt the margarine in the microwave. Mix it with the crumbs and sugar and press it into a pie plate or 8x8 square pan.

Filling:

Cut chocolate into small pieces and place into a double boiler. Or, if you live at my house, in a metal mixing bowl resting in a pot with about 2 inches of water in it, turned to medium.

While the chocolate is melting, place avocadoes, sweetener, vanilla and lemon juice in a blender and puree it. Resist the temptation to taste it at this stage because it's not good. Really.

When chocolate is melted, add the avocado mixture and mix well. You might want to taste it to see if you find it sweet enough.

Scoop chocolate mix into your crust and refrigerate for at least 3 hours, but preferably overnight.

This is delicious on its own, or you can serve it with fruit topping.

This was a big hit at the event I took it to, although I didn't mention the avocado until everyone had eaten a piece.

Migrant Worker Raids

2009-05-01T17:34:00.004-04:00

More information on the recent raids against migrants carried out in Ontario.

Read the full story here

And if you will be in Toronto on May 2nd, there is information on the May Day rally and March above and on the No One is Illegal website.

Happy May Day

2009-05-01T17:16:00.003-04:00

This year, on International Workers' Day, more workers are sounding the SOS than in the past one hundred years.

As we watch unprecedented raids and deportations of migrant workers in Canada, as we watch hundreds of thousands of jobs being lost, as we watch people losing their homes, we struggle together to try to build a better world.

At a May Day dinner I was at last night, one of the speakers talked about how his organization does not use the popular expression "good enough to work, good enough to stay" to talk about migrants. Because they believe all people are good enough to stay.

So on this May Day I am thinking about the people who have been rejected and mistreated by the world of work, about the people who live in terror of losing their jobs, and all those people working, in whatever ways they can, for a better world.

So I offer you two things. You've seen this before, but the prayer to San Precario is most fitting today. More on San Precario here
.
Saint Precarious,
Protector of the precarious of the earth,
give us paid maternity leave
and protect chain store workers, call centre angels
and all flexible employees hanging by a thread.

Give us paid leave and pension contributions,
incomes and free services,
and keep us from being fired.

Saint Precarious defend us from the bottom of the network,
pray for us temporary and cognitive workers, and
Extend to all the others our humble supplication.

Remember those souls whose contracts are coming to an end,
tortured by the pagan divinities
the Free Market and Flexibility,
those wandering uncertain, without a future or a home,
with no pension or dignity.
Grant hope to undocumented workers
and bestow upon them joy and glory
until the end of time.

MAYDAY

And also, I wish more people knew about Saul Williams, because I think he's just great.

You might enjoy this song today - Act III, Scene II (Shakespeare). My favourite line: The Ides of March is always at hand.

Apostrophe Abuse

2009-04-17T21:53:00.002-04:00

I know this is wrong. I know this is elitist. But it really drives me up the wall when I see apostrophes used when they shouldn't be.

I know they're not extinct, I know we won't run out and I know we can afford another one, but I really can't handle it.

So when you look at this blog, Apostrophe Abuse, you will understand why it makes me both laugh and throw up in my mouth.

Peeps Show

2009-04-13T17:01:00.003-04:00

Seriously - the top 40 entries in the Washinton Post's peeps diorama contest.

Woman sent to jail for the crime of poverty must be freed: ACLU

2009-04-06T22:01:00.003-04:00

Although many people are sent to prison simple for the crime of being poor, this story is more direct than most.

This woman was sentenced to prison because she is too poor to pay for her son's stay in a juvenile detention facility. Apparently the bills for room and board are directed to the parent.

Read the full story here

He's your man

2009-03-29T22:30:00.002-04:00

The sombre, Canadian version of a singing telegram. Yes! It's Cohen-a-grams.

Lobsteriffic

2009-03-27T18:04:00.006-04:00

So the last time I bought foundation, an anti-aging product was recommended to me. Thinking that more is, well, more, I picked up a glycolic acid moisturizer to improve tone and texture.

And I used it on my face last night, and today, my face itches and burns. It's also red and blotchy, because I believe I've given myself a chemical burn. So I look like a lobster.

Apparently this is why vanity falls under the deadly sin of pride.

Oh a further note, I think this whole dressing your kids and dogs up like lobsters is really rad, but I hate it when they put them in pots.
And it's even creepier to put them on the stove.
So the moral of this story is, don't take things too far. Gradually phase in toxic chemical compounds that promise to be a fountain of youth, and for the love of god, dress your creatures up like lobsters, but, like, don't shove them in cooking implements. That's why they eat our shoes. And pee in them.

Fruit craving

2009-03-27T17:58:00.002-04:00

Spending $6 on a tiny bunch of grapes that are probably covered in toxic pesticides and were probably grown and picked by workers who are treated terribly - is this madness? No, this is Sparta!

Actually, it's not really Sparta either, I'm just trying to justify it to myself.

Never!!!!

2009-03-27T17:57:00.002-04:00

special occasion

2009-03-03T20:43:00.001-05:00

Today is new bra day. It is also the day I discovered I have back fat.

I'm not in right now, so leave a message

2009-03-03T20:40:00.003-05:00

A Dutch artist has set up a call-in line where you can leave a message for god. I'm sure some of you have some things you'd like to say.

I call dibs on why do bad things happen to good people.

You can read more here

Call, 06-4424-4901 (or +316-4424-4901 if you are outside the Netherlands). The answering service starts March 7.

Updates

2009-01-21T22:28:00.003-05:00

All a little older, but the fur family is still happy.I want to stress that, because they all look vaguely annoyed with me in their pictures. Abby

Milton

Walter

And also

2009-01-21T22:23:00.002-05:00

I should mention that it was rosemary bread, courtesy of the rosemary tree gifted unto me by my friend M.

Look! I've had it for three weeks and it's still alive!

When the universe regifts you

2009-01-21T22:16:00.004-05:00

Sometimes the universe will regift you, and give you back the time you thought you would have to be at work, and you still get paid for it.

My afternoon off was spent thus: cleaning bathroom, taking dog to park, making bread dough, figuring out how to make it rise when the house is cold, bothering cats who are trying to sleep, baking the bread and making soup.

A brief photo essay follows.

Oh, it ain't Martha

2009-01-17T15:46:00.002-05:00

When I am invited to a potluck or other event, you can usually count on me to bring a jar of salsa and a bag of corn chips.

That's because although I love to make beautiful things, there's usually no time for it.

Although it surely ain't Martha Stewart, this sushi made from swedish fish, fruit roll-ups, doughnuts and twinkies has won me over. Lots of links to fake sushi recipes on this site as well.

Scandalous women

2009-01-17T15:34:00.005-05:00

Histories of women who changed things. Find the blog here

Also, if you don't have a 2009 calendar yet, you can order a gorgeous one that shows women mechanics at work from this site. I wish I didn't have four calendars already. Actually, I might order it anyway.

Things we are thankful for

2009-01-17T15:25:00.002-05:00

It is never pleasant to stand outside for an hour when it is -30 outside. But one of the speakers at the rally I just attended, to call for the end of the assault on Gaza, reminded us that it is a good thing to still have all of your limbs, even if you cannot feel them.

In Gaza, over 1,000 people have died, and about a third of them are children.

If you want to read the blog of someone in the occupied territories, check out gazatoday.blogspot.com.

And if you want to read an interesting article about it, read here.

What else could she call him?

2008-12-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

A Peruvian woman called Virgen Maria, who is married to a carpenter, has named her son Jesus Emanuel after giving birth on Christmas Day.

can we ever haz cheezburger?

2008-11-15T14:50:00.004-05:00

more animals

Lolcats, pictures of cats doing...those things they do, with misspelled captions. That's what started it off. And at first you wonder - why is this funny?

But I too love lolcats. I've never really understood why, but this article from Salon gives an interesting perspective on it. It talks about how we've moved past that "hang in there kitty" poster, to using these photos to tell each other something about cats, but also about ourselves. You'll want to click here and read it

But something that makes me really, really laugh is the LOLCat Bible Translation Project. Good on these folks who take the time to do this. I am still laughing at Genesis One:

Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

So check it out and learn more about the great battle for our souls that is waged by Ceiling Cat up above and Basement Cat down below.

Why they make you read Margaret Laurence when you are young

2008-11-10T22:00:00.002-05:00

In high school, I remember the sighs of children forced to read Margaret Laurence. Perhaps they preferred the more overtly political Margaret Atwood. Or hated books altogether. Or thought it was outdated. Or whatever.

I always enjoyed them, but then, have always been a great reader. Plus my mom liked them.

When I reread them now, I find it so much more difficult. They're stories of women who don't fit in. Or who gave up. Or put things on hold. Or who sacrificed.

I think they're hard for me to read because your life will become these books. Or maybe they already have. They're a prediction. Or a warning.

Score!

2008-11-09T23:31:00.001-05:00

So, after a couple of weeks of betting on pro-boxing, I'd just like to report that I am up $55.

detoxablog days six and seven

2008-11-04T21:05:00.002-05:00

Day six: really, really want a piece of pizza, even though you're not supposed to eat cheese at all, and especially not on super-restrictive cleanse diet. Eat it when your roommate orders it.

Crave salt all day and actually wonder if you're feeling a little off because you've had absolutely no sodium for days. Eat 1/8 of a teaspoon to see.

Stop peeing so much. Notice your hands and lips have stopped cracking from dryness.

Day seven: run out of time to cook anything at all, which is fine, because you're negotiating a contract anyway. Take your last capsules and eat one apple and one tea biscuit in a ten hour period. Get a settlement. Then eat dinner.

So in conclusion, after seven days of doing nothing but monitoring my food and water intake, chopping and simmering, longing for processed food, realize that your mood is better, your skin is better, you are retaining way less water, and you have more energy.

This cleanse is a gentle, starter kit. I understand there are more restrictive and intense ones. I am not sure how anyone stands them. Maybe they do it while they are on something I've heard called "vacation." Or maybe someone helps them cook. Or maybe they sleep for fourteen hours a day. Or maybe they are not prone to rapid drops in blood sugar. Or maybe people are just not as obsessed with what they consume as I am.

Maybe this is why people do this.

Detoxablog

2008-11-01T15:29:00.003-04:00

For the last five days, I have been in the throes of hell. Well, really only first circle sort of stuff - long, long days of work on a stressful strike vote, other campaigns, stress over neglected work, housekeeping and animals.

Today I plan to shower.

Of course, I have to take some credit for this week, since I thought it would be productive to compound my misery and start a severe seven day detox/cleanse plan.

I thought it would give me more energy.

Now at day five, I'd like to give you a brief summary.

Day One: Feel really, really sick. Have a headache that will last for three days. Realize that all delicious foods contain either wheat, flour, or salt. Especially salt. Eat five servings of vegetables and four fruits. Realize how expensive it is to do that.

Make two batches of amazing, beautiful cupcakes for a bakesale at work. Eat none of them. Work til midnight piping on frosting and arranging candy corn.

Day Two: Start forgetting whether I've taken the appropriate amount of cleanse tablets at the appropriate time. Add an extra serving of protein and fat to the two of each I am allowed, so I won't feel so wretched. One serving of nuts = six pecans, or eight almonds, or eight hazelnuts.

At about eleven o'clock, my headache lifts and a powerful sense of wellness comes over me. I decide this is water-intoxication, and it's owing to the eight ounces I must drink every waking hour. Maybe this process is not intended for those who are awake for eighteen glasses a day.

Day Three: The strike vote passes. This is great, because I need to free up that time to spend approximately two and a half hours a day simmering whole grains and chopping vegetables. Maybe three hours. Feel sort of yucky, but realize my pants are looser. Also realize that the one cup of coffee I am allowed each day is the only thing preventing me from acting like a total asshole.

Day Four: Do not have time to cook lunch, so eat a sandwich on bread from the cafeteria at work. With salty sauce. Get a powerful, full-body rush, that lasts over an hour. Spend two hours preparing saltless ratatouille. Plain food is starting to taste good. Then, because it is Halloween, I eat two packets of reese's pieces and four jujubes. And forget my water at nine and ten o'clock. Fall asleep on the couch at 10:30.

Day Five: Sleep terrible, interrupted sleep until noon. Get up and wonder what to do about tablets, the mandatory servings of grain and fruit at breakfast that I have missed, and decide I'd better put some coffee on. Discover a love of steel-cut oatmeal. Wonder if I can teach the dog to prepare it for me so I can get some work done.

More updates to come...

Electoral College

2008-11-01T15:23:00.002-04:00

When we think about the upcoming election south of the border, where voter turnout, especially among black voters, is expected to hit all-time highs, it makes me wonder why ours is plumetting.

I expect it has everything to do with being disenfranchised and disoriented. For whole communities who are losing their jobs and homes, it probably doesn't seem like a priority, and we all know it likely won't change anything.

Do I advocate voting? I'm not sure. Do I cast a ballot? I do.

And either way, we could all stand to be schooled by David Sedaris, who in the New Yorker last week asked which we would prefer, a platter of shit with shards of glass in it, or the chicken?

Some choices are more dangerous than others. Read the column here

Troy Davis update

2008-11-01T15:21:00.001-04:00

Following my last post, Troy Davis was granted another stay of execution.

The issue will be revisited again at the end of November - after the American election.

One more reason to care about who gets elected next week.

Execution warrant issued for Troy Davis

2008-10-18T00:28:00.001-04:00

An execution warrant has now been issued for Troy Davis commencing October 27th - these are valid for one week and the date is usually set for the first day.

Take action here

post delinquent

2008-10-18T00:25:00.002-04:00

I know that I am remiss in writing, but ye olde new laptoppe arrives next week, which should make more writing happen.

Until then, I recommend you read this blog: How to Beat up Anything

Here you can learn how to beat up actor Tom Hanks, Greek warrior Achilles, and even that tree that throws apples from The Wizard of Oz.

More info on Troy Davis

2008-09-20T13:28:00.003-04:00

You can visit this site to learn more about the Troy Davis case and his impending execution.

Take action on this impending execution in the US

2008-09-20T13:22:00.004-04:00

From the American Civil Liberties Union

A man who is almost certainly innocent needs your help, and fast.

On Friday, September 12th, Troy Davis was denied clemency by the Georgia Board of Pardons and Paroles. It is imperative that we respectfully ask them to reconsider this unfortunate decision. They have to power to stop this indefensible execution and we must implore them to make the right decision.

Troy Anthony Davis was convicted of the murder of off-duty Savannah Police Officer Mark MacPhail in 1991. No physical evidence links him to the crime, and he has steadfastly maintained his innocence. His conviction was based solely on the testimony of witnesses. There was no other evidence against him. Since his trial, seven people who had previously testified against Troy changed the story they had told in court.

Some witnesses say they were coerced by police. Others have even signed affidavits implicating one of the remaining two witnesses as the actual killer. But due to an increasingly restrictive appeals process, none of this new evidence has ever been heard in court.

Can you take 30 seconds and help save the life of a man who is almost certainly innocent? You can learn more and take action by clicking here

A people's history of sports

2008-09-14T13:57:00.002-04:00

There are those who insist that sports and politics don’t belong in the same sentence, the same zip code, or the same universe.

I was one of those people, until about four years when I interviewed Dave Zirin about the political implications of pro-wrestling. Now I am salivating, waiting for his new book to arrive (pre-ordered from my local independent bookstore).

Read the column:
Why do we need a people's history of sports?

Running up that hill

2008-09-14T13:55:00.000-04:00

Everyday is Like Sunday

2008-09-14T13:48:00.000-04:00

Everyday Is Like Sunday - The Smiths

More quotable quotes

2008-09-14T13:33:00.001-04:00

“Men who want to support women in our struggle for freedom and justice should understand that it is not terrifically important to us that they learn to cry; it is important to us that they stop the crimes of violence against us.”
Andrea Dworkin

Quotable quotes

2008-09-12T19:01:00.002-04:00

Sometimes when I hear people say "there's this great quote," I cringe a little. We all do it, even me, but "quote" is a verb. Quotation is the noun. The thing that gets quoted.

But this one's for the ages, so here goes anyway:

O gentlemen, the time of life is short!
To spend that shortness basely were too long,
If life did ride upon a dial's point,
Still ending at the arrival of an hour.
And if we live, we live to tread on kings;
If die, brave death, when princes die with us!
Now, for our consciences, the arms are fair,
When the intent of bearing them is just.

King Henry the IV, Act V, Scene II

What's for dinner?

2008-09-11T18:26:00.001-04:00

This article, 14 Passive Aggressive Appetizers.

Coming soon to a cat near you

2008-09-11T18:21:00.001-04:00

This handy searchable site shows you cats in your area. Try today!

Cats near you

Pixifoods

2008-08-29T21:44:00.002-04:00

Pixifoods are foods that taste delicious to you as a child, and fucking disgusting as an adult.

This rad blogger has a series of entries here.

I'm sure Doritos are on that list somewhere. If not, I'll send the entry myself.

women's combat

2008-08-29T21:39:00.002-04:00

If you'd like to learn more about women in combat sports, you can look at this website, in English and Russian.

It includes interviews with a lot of women in martial arts, sumo, boxing and even arm-wrestling.

4 weeks can go faster than you think

2008-08-29T21:34:00.002-04:00

But still not fast enough.

After negotiating a whole collective agreement, almost getting locked out and then negotiating a collective agreement, and then starting three others, you can lose all track of what day, month or week it is.

And sure enough, a human is like a steam engine: when there's too much pressure, it'll blow. As soon as it was all over, I got a fever of 101.

Then yesterday I watched the movie Cinderella Man, and wept like a small child for a full two hours.

If you haven't seen that movie, do so immediately. And have a box of tissues with you. Yes, it's a boxing movie, but it's set in the depression, and it's very moving. The line that sent me into audible sobbing:

"Mr. Braddock, what are you fighting for here?"

"For milk."

Like looking into a crystal ball

2008-08-29T21:32:00.001-04:00

See a glimpse of my future here:

Actually, it's a Russian woman who has over 130 cats.

You can say what you want,

2008-07-29T17:28:00.004-04:00

But I'll always love Phil Collins.

That's right - I do. And not in that arrogant, "only when he was with Genesis," way, in a pure, warmhearted kind of way, because sometimes, Phil Collins sings exactly what I'm thinking.

Of course, I understand that that's the principle of all pop stardom. But I like to credit him among my early influences that have led me to a life of activism.

That's right, Land of Confusion is one of the songs that changed my life.

You can laugh if you want. You can laugh if I already posted a similarly pathetic rant and have forgotten it. But Invisible Touch was remastered and re-released in 2007, and that my friends, is a masterpiece.

Land Of Confusion (2007 Remastered Album Version) - Genesis

I'll take the crab juice

2008-07-28T16:27:00.005-04:00

In an episode of The Simpsons, there's this scene where Homer is stuck in New York City, cause his car has the boot put on it, and he can't drive away.

So the only food he can get is from a vendor who comes by. And the joke is that the man has an accent, so when Homer asks for something to drink he says what sounds like, "I have only mountain dew and grape juice.

And then Homer wretches and writhes a bit and says, "Okay, I'll take the crab juice."

So yeah, it's crab juice. And it's preferable to mountain dew.

In that vein, you should read this article about an eel drink that's popular in Japan here

Teach the starlings to say "Schieffelin"

2008-07-27T15:14:00.002-04:00

There is a project to teach starlings to say the word "Schieffelin." Starlings can mimic human speech.

The background:
Between 1890 and 1891, Eugene Schieffelin introduced approximately 60 pairs of European starlings into New York City 's Central Park . Schieffelin was a founding member of the New York chapter of the Acclimation Society of North America whose goal was to introduce non-native species that they deemed culturally or environmentally beneficial into new environments. It is generally believed that Schieffelin felt it was his calling to introduce all the birds referenced in the works of Shakespeare into North America . His attempts to introduce bullfinches, chaffinches, nightingales, and skylarks were unsuccessful.

Starlings can mimic a word after hearing it only once. Above is a photograph of a rigged feeding station that exposes the starlings to the sound of the word.

Learn more about the project here

A corpse flower is blooming, and you can watch

2008-07-18T22:04:00.002-04:00

You might have heard about these on CSI. Their flowers are beautiful, but their perfume smells like a rotting body.

Smith College has a webcam where you can watch it bloom. Best viewed in daytime hours.

It's a shame

2008-07-14T23:23:00.002-04:00

That sometimes work is so very deadening. Because some days it makes me feel so very alive, and I am saddened that there are not other people feeling this, so that I can call at 11:30 at night and share this with them.

This happens most often when my work involves writing and telling stories. And when I am working at cupcakes.

The plate is half empty, the plate is half full

2008-07-13T21:22:00.003-04:00

One day at work I order a sandwich, and I say it's for here. I pretty much have three choices of things I can eat at work, and a sandwich is one of them.

"Would you like me to wrap half of it up for you?"

I laugh, because seriously, since when was there ever a sandwich I couldn't finish? That's what I tell the woman working and we laugh.

Then a little while later I have a sub at another place. I say I don't need a bag. The woman says, "I'll give you one because if you don't finish it you can still keep it in your purse."

Which is preposterous, because again, there has never been a sandwich I couldn't finish.

And about two weeks later I order a veggie burger. The woman asks if I'd like it cut in half.

Seriously, I can see only three things could be happening here:

1) People assume women don't eat
2) Women don't eat because people assume they shouldn't
3) I look fat in this dress

In closing I would just like to encourage women to eat the whole damn sandwich. It's only a sandwich, okay, and I can eat it all.

It's time to start thinking about it

2008-07-13T13:29:00.002-04:00

This is a contest I truly love - and I've got some 'splaining to do, since last year I was so sick I couldn't even pick up a pen. Consider plunking down $50 and trying your hand at writing a novel in just three days.

This year's 3-Day Novel Contest will run Labour Day Weekend, August 30 - September 1, 2008. Registration must be postmarked by August 29th.

This is a great test of your stamina, creativity, and focus, as well as a chance to get something down on paper.

So let's all sit down for three days and type. Registration and contest details here

Transborder Immigration Project

2008-07-13T13:24:00.002-04:00

This information comes from the justseeds.org blog. justseeds is a community of artists who have banded together to both sell their work online in a central location and to collaborate with and support each other and social movements.

One of the highlights of this year’s Allied Media Conference in Detroit was learning about the Transborder Immigration Project by Ricardo Dominguez, Brett Stalbaum, Micha Cárdenas and Jason Najarro.

In the true spirit of hactivist art and civil disobedience, this team of San Diego-based artists and scientists has ingeniously reconfigured a Motorola i455 phone into a lifesaving device for immigrants crossing the border between Mexico and US. In their own words, “The goal of the project is to help reduce the number of deaths along the border by developing a common cell phone device into a navigation tool that will help migrants locate life saving resources in the desert such as water catches and safety beacons.”

The device, which is built upon the back of a basic $40 Motorola i455 phone, has a built-in compass, vibrates near water sources, and is gps enabled.

Learn more here.

And here

How time flies when you're almost having fun

2008-07-13T13:12:00.004-04:00

It's true - time goes so freaking quickly when you are almost out of your mind with work to do.

Almost the middle of July, I have been going so fast I'm barely paying attention to things around me.

But I'll tell you about two things I've learned this morning.

One is that a study that involved MRI scans of children's brains while they were being shown images of people being either accidentally or deliberately hurt has led researchers to believe that children are hardwired for empathy.

And the other is that a red panda, rejected by its mother, is being tended by a domestic cat. A cat that is, if I don't say so myself, the spitting image of the cat I had as a little girl.