can we ever haz cheezburger?

more animals

Lolcats, pictures of cats doing...those things they do, with misspelled captions. That's what started it off. And at first you wonder - why is this funny?

But I too love lolcats. I've never really understood why, but this article from Salon gives an interesting perspective on it. It talks about how we've moved past that "hang in there kitty" poster, to using these photos to tell each other something about cats, but also about ourselves. You'll want to click here and read it

But something that makes me really, really laugh is the LOLCat Bible Translation Project. Good on these folks who take the time to do this. I am still laughing at Genesis One:

Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

So check it out and learn more about the great battle for our souls that is waged by Ceiling Cat up above and Basement Cat down below.

Why they make you read Margaret Laurence when you are young

In high school, I remember the sighs of children forced to read Margaret Laurence. Perhaps they preferred the more overtly political Margaret Atwood. Or hated books altogether. Or thought it was outdated. Or whatever.

I always enjoyed them, but then, have always been a great reader. Plus my mom liked them.

When I reread them now, I find it so much more difficult. They're stories of women who don't fit in. Or who gave up. Or put things on hold. Or who sacrificed.

I think they're hard for me to read because your life will become these books. Or maybe they already have. They're a prediction. Or a warning.

Score!

So, after a couple of weeks of betting on pro-boxing, I'd just like to report that I am up $55.

detoxablog days six and seven

Day six: really, really want a piece of pizza, even though you're not supposed to eat cheese at all, and especially not on super-restrictive cleanse diet. Eat it when your roommate orders it.

Crave salt all day and actually wonder if you're feeling a little off because you've had absolutely no sodium for days. Eat 1/8 of a teaspoon to see.

Stop peeing so much. Notice your hands and lips have stopped cracking from dryness.

Day seven: run out of time to cook anything at all, which is fine, because you're negotiating a contract anyway. Take your last capsules and eat one apple and one tea biscuit in a ten hour period. Get a settlement. Then eat dinner.

So in conclusion, after seven days of doing nothing but monitoring my food and water intake, chopping and simmering, longing for processed food, realize that your mood is better, your skin is better, you are retaining way less water, and you have more energy.

This cleanse is a gentle, starter kit. I understand there are more restrictive and intense ones. I am not sure how anyone stands them. Maybe they do it while they are on something I've heard called "vacation." Or maybe someone helps them cook. Or maybe they sleep for fourteen hours a day. Or maybe they are not prone to rapid drops in blood sugar. Or maybe people are just not as obsessed with what they consume as I am.

Maybe this is why people do this.

Detoxablog

For the last five days, I have been in the throes of hell. Well, really only first circle sort of stuff - long, long days of work on a stressful strike vote, other campaigns, stress over neglected work, housekeeping and animals.

Today I plan to shower.

Of course, I have to take some credit for this week, since I thought it would be productive to compound my misery and start a severe seven day detox/cleanse plan.

I thought it would give me more energy.

Now at day five, I'd like to give you a brief summary.

Day One: Feel really, really sick. Have a headache that will last for three days. Realize that all delicious foods contain either wheat, flour, or salt. Especially salt. Eat five servings of vegetables and four fruits. Realize how expensive it is to do that.

Make two batches of amazing, beautiful cupcakes for a bakesale at work. Eat none of them. Work til midnight piping on frosting and arranging candy corn.

Day Two: Start forgetting whether I've taken the appropriate amount of cleanse tablets at the appropriate time. Add an extra serving of protein and fat to the two of each I am allowed, so I won't feel so wretched. One serving of nuts = six pecans, or eight almonds, or eight hazelnuts.

At about eleven o'clock, my headache lifts and a powerful sense of wellness comes over me. I decide this is water-intoxication, and it's owing to the eight ounces I must drink every waking hour. Maybe this process is not intended for those who are awake for eighteen glasses a day.

Day Three: The strike vote passes. This is great, because I need to free up that time to spend approximately two and a half hours a day simmering whole grains and chopping vegetables. Maybe three hours. Feel sort of yucky, but realize my pants are looser. Also realize that the one cup of coffee I am allowed each day is the only thing preventing me from acting like a total asshole.

Day Four: Do not have time to cook lunch, so eat a sandwich on bread from the cafeteria at work. With salty sauce. Get a powerful, full-body rush, that lasts over an hour. Spend two hours preparing saltless ratatouille. Plain food is starting to taste good. Then, because it is Halloween, I eat two packets of reese's pieces and four jujubes. And forget my water at nine and ten o'clock. Fall asleep on the couch at 10:30.

Day Five: Sleep terrible, interrupted sleep until noon. Get up and wonder what to do about tablets, the mandatory servings of grain and fruit at breakfast that I have missed, and decide I'd better put some coffee on. Discover a love of steel-cut oatmeal. Wonder if I can teach the dog to prepare it for me so I can get some work done.

More updates to come...

Electoral College

When we think about the upcoming election south of the border, where voter turnout, especially among black voters, is expected to hit all-time highs, it makes me wonder why ours is plumetting.

I expect it has everything to do with being disenfranchised and disoriented. For whole communities who are losing their jobs and homes, it probably doesn't seem like a priority, and we all know it likely won't change anything.

Do I advocate voting? I'm not sure. Do I cast a ballot? I do.

And either way, we could all stand to be schooled by David Sedaris, who in the New Yorker last week asked which we would prefer, a platter of shit with shards of glass in it, or the chicken?

Some choices are more dangerous than others. Read the column here

Troy Davis update

Following my last post, Troy Davis was granted another stay of execution.

The issue will be revisited again at the end of November - after the American election.

One more reason to care about who gets elected next week.