Seriously,

So today I pay off my debt to get my account unlocked and rid myself of this horrible collection agency forever. As as added bonus, I can now qualify to receive university transcripts I cannot afford, and can dream of one day embarking on a new degree in labour studies, which I also can probably not afford.

And when the people at the bank had helped to fix everything up, the woman says to me

"So you must feel better now."

And I sez to the lady, I sez

"Actually I feel kind of bitter."

And she looks so, so, crestfallen, maybe, like her whole life's work is resolving debts and activating bank accounts, it's what she was put on earth to do, so I sez

"Although everyone at the bank has been very helpful."

It's true, they were.