How long does it take...

Until you stop feeling embarrassed about crying in front of others?

I don't know why people make such a big fucking deal, but I certainly didn't keep it together too well at the December 6th vigil to remember the women who've been killed by their partners.

They read the names, of all the women in our province who died this year and where it has been verified that their deaths were at the hands of their partner.

Because when they read the names, there are so many. 22 in 2007. Although the average each year in Ontario is 44.

And you hear "Jane Doe" read. And then another. And another.

Three women, that we know of now, who died with no one to claim them. Who are unnamed on this horrible list of lost lives.

So in my mind I gave them names, and interests and faces and jobs. And houses and friends and favourite songs. Because I don't want to forget, even though I don't know their names.