Skunks and Sirens

Sunday was my first day off for over 21 days. And in fact I was supposed to spend it at an out of town union meeting, but I was just too tired.

So there was a lot of lounging around. Until the dog and C. return from the backyard. Abby is drooling huge quantities and is trying to tunnel under the linoleum with her snout. She is just rubbing her face all over the floor and she won't stop salivating.

When C. says, Can you check the dog? I think something's wrong?

Did you know that most dogs are hit by skunks on their necks? They provoke the skunk or scare it, and when they see they are going to get sprayed, they turn their heads as fast as they can. Hence they get hit on the side of the neck, or perhaps their shoulder.

Her left shoulder is covered in it. Her collar is ruined. My face is full of skunk spray.

My dog is not particularly co-operative. I try to coax her into the tub by sitting inside it and waving cookies around. No go. So I give her a sort of doggie sponge bath, which does nothing at all.

Did you know that it's a myth that you can use tomato juice to remove skunk spray? Molecules called thiols are very sticky. In laboratories, they clean then up with peroxide.

So C. goes out to acquire the ingredients we need: 1 litre of peroxide, 1/4 cup of baking soda, and 1 tablespoon of soap. Actually, there's already soap in the house, but I digress.

Skunk spray doesn't smell very much at first. It takes some time to develop. Like a wine that must breathe.

As soon as C. gets about a block away from the house, two fire trucks pull up on the lawn.

Now I know that I am in hell - I must evacuate two cats, a skunky dog and myself, because the other side of the semi-detached house is on fire.

And the fire fighters have assumed that it's all one house, so no one has come to tell me I should evacuate.

The scene goes like this:

Me: Hi there, is everything alright?
Firefighter: Do you live here?
Me: Yes
Firefighter: There was a gas leak called in. The people on this side think they smell gas.
Me: This is kind of embarrassing, but my dog was just sprayed by a skunk right below their window. It might be gas, but the smell is pretty strong.
Firefighter: Oh, that's good to know, it's probably that. My cat got sprayed about three months ago, and she still smells when it rains.
Me: Don't tell me that.

Actually, after you slather a dog in hydrogen peroxide and baking soda, you'd be surprised actually, at how fresh they smell.

So then everyone tried to sleep while mouth-breathing.

None of my co-workers have said anything yet today, so I must have scrubbed off enough skin to smell normal.